around the house

It is not that I haven't had anything exciting or interesting to talk about, it is just that I haven't seemed to have the will to write them down or post them. I have actually had several observations that I have wanted to record and even post but never got around to getting them from my head into words. I have been a little busier lately with moving, summer adventures, my brothers wedding, and many other projects that I have been tasked to. Living at home for a season seems to do that- especially for me. My dad work hard and enjoys working his sons (and daughter) hard; there are always projects to be done, if not for others than around our house or at my grandfathers medical building. As we have all grown older the projects have not ceased but my father has become a little less inclined to do them. They are still there and needing completing so someone has to step in and take point. Somewhere in time that someone became me. How or when it happened I am uncertain; what I do know is that my dad, who once motivated my brothers and me with a look, an assertive voice, and the occasional stick, now requires and takes to my gentle motivation. So many projects- so few hours in the day!

With that said I wonder if it is possible or just contradictory to say that I want to write or have a desire to write down certain thoughts but don't have the will to? I would promulgate that my wanting to write comes from a yearning or craving, involving a passion for both recording and sharing; my lack of will stems from a laziness or a carnal disposition to not think but, simply react. Unfortunately for me (and all you who read my blog) will has more to do with character than does wanting or desire. Peculiar! This argument, or at least a form of it, has actually prodded my mind for a little while now. The underlying argument is that of desire to be righteous vs. actual action. We are judged according to thought and action but how so? Alma 41:6 says, "If he hath repented of his sins, and desired righteousness until the end of his days, even so he shall be rewarded unto righteousness." If I act righteously but occasionally think something I ought not what happens then? Or what if I desire to do right but occasionally act contrary to that thought? Is it in vain? I have more thought on this mater but I will not continue farther as of yet. I invite you ponder on this that each one may form his and her own thoughts on this.

a place to remember

I gave notice today at work that I am only there for a short time longer. I will be moving to Utah at the beginning of the year so will no longer be working for RPM. Giving notice makes everything official in my mind. Before it was something I have wanted to do, now it is something I am doing. I was planning on giving notice yesterday after work but was not really able to so it was one of the first things I did this morning. It made for a rough day. RPM has been a wonderful company to me, I have learned so much from working there and they have at times gone out of there way to assist my desires. The people I have worked with over the years there have been family, in fact my brothers have often teased me that I love RPM as a family more than I loved them. Of course this was never true but RPM has always treated me well and has given me more than just a job over the years I have worked there. It is said that if you love your job than you never have to work a day in your life. RPM has been that job for me. Recently it has been difficult for me to love my job, not to the fault of RPM, maybe a few frustrations here and there but, mainly because I have felt my life to be slowing to a stand still in recent months. I have felt as though my life is stagnating, I am not moving anywhere and want to be, and should be. I tried moving forward but with no success. Thank you RPM but it is time to move on. Thank you Brent. Thank you all the many wonderful coworkers whom I have learned so much from while working with. Thank you Lonna.

There are still many uncertainties about my moving but if I wait for everything to be certain (if it ever would be) I would watch that certainty pass right by me. Now is the time. 2007 has been a great year for me. I have learned so so much, and feel that I have grown just as much. 2008 is a new year, a year of possibilities. I have no idea what many of those possibilities will be but do know that I am excited to face them.