oh say can you see

Most everyone knows the first verse but what about the second, third, and yep- fourth verse of the Star Spangled Banner. It is the anthem of this great country but what citizen of hers can recite it? Many don't know there is more than one verse. That is sad. I love the 4th verse above, it is my favorite.

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

It has a new meaning to me this Independence Day. My brother is in the Army National Guard and his unit has just recently deployed to Iraq for a year. This country exists because of a few men who were willing to stand up to a government that was not treating its people with equality. It continues to exist because of free men who, despite the harsh piercing words of others choose to put their life on the line, sacrificing time, family, and pleasure to fight against those who would oppress and instill fear in those who what that same freedom.

There is plenty more to be said on this but it sufficeth me to stop here. I love this country. I love that flag. And I love those who are willing to stand up to defend the principles she was founded on.

I love you Bro. God bless you.

Father's Day

I love my dad, my father, my pops! Happy Father's Day.

does birthday mean party?

Different people hold birthdays to different importance. Birthday is a tradition, and with all tradition it is viewed through the scope we are given it from. A birthday, when I was a kid, was another day; a day to be congratulated and honored, but in the end, just another day. So you are a year older, big deal, if not for the 364 (365) days preceding it, it is nothing. We had cake and ice cream at dinner the Sunday before or after in honor of and grandma would do something special with each grandkid. What is so special about getting older? I hear when you do get older everybody wishes he or she would stop having birthdays. Perhaps I just downplay the significance of this special day in my mind to avoid the glamour and attention of it. I am not one for spotlights.

A friend of mine gave me some perspective the other day on the subject. The kaleidoscope of tradition which was passed to her contrasted my own. She told me about how birthdays were the happy days she remembered from her childhood. Her mother had a way of making it a special day, not just a special day but the whole week was one to remember, to honor the birthday girl. It is your day, a day in honor of you. So why not celebrate? Anything less would be evasive and unpretentious.

Everybody deservers her own day. I remember saying once that the most important day of my life so far was the day I was born, and the second most important is tomorrow- the day that (God willing) keeps my life going. I try every day to celebrate my life, to be happy to be alive. I think we all should. Perhaps that is why I don’t set my birthday apart, because I celebrate my life every day. If you do it every day how is it different on that one day each year? It is an anniversary, and anniversaries are meant to be celebrated. So, is your birthday for you? or is it for those people in your life who care about you? Either way there should be a party, right?

If you were to tell a friend that your birthday was coming up I am confident he would say Happy Birthday and ask you if you were having a party. You might say a similar thing in the same situation. I was asked this question. In response I had to ask if I was the one responsible for make sure there was a party; “I don’t know, am I having a party?” Kind of rude in retrospect, but I know I can say anything to this friend. Who is supposed to throw a birthday party? Who does it serve? Is it tradition to have a birthday party? Is it a social norm?

I don’t pretend to know the answers but my view of birthdays has changed. One small chat with a friend and you never know what can happen. Birthdays are anniversaries. A special day to think about where you started, to ponder on the direction you are headed, and to celebrate your amazing life. So whether you choose to celebrate with a bunch of roudy friends at a party, or with your family around the table at dinner, or relaxing on a white beach in the brilliant sun, make sure you have a good one. I will!

on swinging

I love to swing. There is something magical about it, sitting in a park swaying back and forth watching the world go by. I have some good memories on the swing. I have some sad memories on the swing. Most of all I have some soothing memories on the swing. The swing is one of my favorite places to go. No matter what the mood a swing will accentuate the positive.

There is no telling when you might find me on a swing. I might be sitting on a swing in the morning, mid-day, or evening; perhaps most commonly in those still hours of early morning at the very start of a brand new day. In a former occupation I would on occasion stop by one of many parks on my way home to sway on a swing and reflect on the day, or on the world, or on eternity.Next to swaying to and fro beside a lovely young lady this is my favorite swing activity. The night is so pure, so still. It relaxes you. You can forget any troubles you might be burdened with. You can be alone with your thoughts, to open your mind and reflect. You can watch the world pass by slowly. And you do all that while flying!

A former prophet has said that an important characteristic in this life is to possess the ability to Be Still. The swing set provides me this sanctuary to escape the noisy traffic of the world and sit quietly, reflectively. Giving me an opportunity to understand me and the small part I play in this universe.

Swinging reminds me of my mother. We all know of the young child who is soothed as he is rocked gently in his mothers arms. Perhaps the swing is those soothing arms of a distant mother. Perhaps it is the loving rock of her protecting fold. There is something about that swaying, rocking motion that calms, relaxes, and pacifies. And the first place we experience that feeling is in the arms of Mother as she takes her new born baby in her arms and lovingly sways that gentle rhythm. It is no wonder then that such a motion has such miraculous power to calm. I wonder then, do mothers do it because it calms, or do children calm because mothers do it? I am willing to assert the later.

no shoes, no shirt, no cameras

When did it become "against the rules" to take pictures in a grocery store? Darren envited me along to go grocery shopping with he and his wife as this evening is my last night before going in to the army. Mother advised against us taking his Nerf guns into the store so instead we I took the camera and figured I would document our adventure. I like photograph and might even say I have an eye for unique and artistic shots. Grocery stores have many possibilities for artistry in my digital stills. I was going around taking a bunch of pictures of random things and as usual being a little rambunctious with my brother at 9:30 at night in a grocery store. As I was throwing this roll of Bounty paper towels at my bro and taking a picture of it this lady cleaning the deli counter said I wasn't aloud to talk pictures in the store. I assumed she was upset at me for throwing the paper towel so I put the paper towel back on the shelf and Dars and I ran off to another part of the store as I continued to look for good shots. As I found them I took a picture or two. Later while in the produce section a different lady, whom I shortly found out was the store manager, told me that she could not allow me to take pictures in the store. "You are serious. I can't take pictures in the store?" I can be a little more outspoken when around my evil twin. I asked her if it was posted anywhere and asked to see documentation supporting her statement. She said that I could continue my shopping and she would return in a moment. I did so and as I had yet to see documentation I took a few more pictures (I got this great one of some bananas).

I can understand the "No shoes, No shirt..." policy, but "No cameras!" What is wrong with that? Lady Ann (my sister-in-law) was about done shopping now and after a few more moments she headed toward the checkout. I caught up to her a moment later as the teller was ringing her items through. I snapped a picture. The lady had still not returned with documentation. Moments after I took the picture the teller had a phone call- it was the manager asking him if he knew where the paper was that said I could not take pictures in the store. It was apparent from the half of the conversation that I heard. And after he hung up the phone he told me that she still could not find the paper. It was slightly amusing. I am a horrible person but now she will be better prepared for the next camera wielding victim that walks through the doors of her store. I never did see that paper and I am sure that as we left she was still looking for it. And because of that my team lost.

Before we even walked in the store the proposition was placed before us; whether it would take longer for Lady Ann to complete the shopping or for Dars and me to be kicked out of the store. It is an art to be kicked out of a store for not doing anything rash but doing just enough to be not welcome.

2:00 a.m.

Seriously, what better thing to do at 2 or 3 in the morning than to drive around town and hang out with your two older brothers? Some might say Sleep, but that is arguable. I was finishing up some studying and a little reading earlier this evening when my brother who lives next door shoots me a message, "hey, you up?" in Google Talk. Of course, so he and I chatyed for a bit. We were having such a good conversation and I haven't spent much time with him lately, and we have until 8:00a.m. to do anything before he leaves and then I leave not seeing each other until Christmas and it was just his birthday, I ask him if he wants to do breakfast. Great idea! Let's see if Dars is up for it. "Yep he's in."

Three Pinnegar's, two-o-clock in the morning, a car, a Nerf gun, and endless possibilities. Yep, it was that good! So it turns out that at 2am your possibilities are not so endless as far as dining establishments go. We went to Denny's; we made the best of it though trying there selection of mixed drinks, munching on some seasoned fries, saying/doing what ever came to mind, which (if you know a Pinnegar) is quite a lot for that hour. After we were done at the restaurant (in other words, after our waitress was done with us at the restaurant) we had an exciting trip back to Darren's where we played a thrilling game of Pass the Pigs. It was great. I haven't played pass the pigs since before Darren went on his mission. That may or may not be true but it has been a long time. Pass the Pigs is one of the greatest games. And it is even better at 3 in the morning. It was definately a worthwhile activity and I don't think a single one of us did anything illegal...except for that part when one of us was hanging out the window trying to retreive a Nerf dart.

Happy Birthday David, I hope you had a great day.

tall people and kissing

I am tall. My whole family is on the taller side of the spectrum. Often times in a crowd I can easily pop my head up above the majority by standing on my tippy-toes to locate a brother and make my way to him. Frequently at social gatherings (parties, dances, or mixers,) I can remain within eyesight of any one of my brothers heads as we individually make are way around. This comes in quite useful. How do sort people do it? I can't imagine how long it would take to find a particular someone in a crowd in which everyone is taller than you. One might have to bust out her handy-dandy cell phone and throw down a text message as a kind of 21st century, cellular radar; bounce a radio signal off a couple of towers and a few bounces later it returns in a convenient textual form giving the precise location of the individual, relative to the surroundings . So anyway, being tall has its benefits after all.

You may be wondering by now where kissing plays into all this. Let me expound. My brother has a tall girlfriend. They are quite the couple and very cute (and tall) together. It hasn't been until recently that they have started showing there love for each other publicly. Most people know it as PDA. As they have however I have discovered something, EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU kissing! It is like standing on a tower with a bull horn shouting "look at us, we love each other and we are going to show you." I don't know why I never noticed it before, as it is so right there in front of you, perhaps it is because my oldest brother is shorter than me and my other brother married a short girl, but this brother and his girlfriend are both taller than me (and I am not short). I gained a new perspective. I really don't care about PDA as long as it is not overly excessive, which I know this brother is not about to do. I just find it noteworthy.

proposition eight

I have been thinking lately about what I want to say here regarding this particular issue; there are so many sides to it and so many sub-arguments, where do I begin? I feel very passionately that marriage is between a man and a woman. I have just been unable to sort out my thoughts that would make sense to the reader. Politics are not really my thing. Fortunately, I read this blog the other day written by a friend of mine and he says it better than I ever could.

http://poachedfrog.com/blog/index.php?p=583

Take the time to READ these comments, then take time to SHARE them with others. As is said in the article, defining marriage is an issue for us all, not just those who live in CA.

I have also found several other sites regarding the Proposition 8 that may provide further understanding.

The Divine Institution of Marriage

ProtectMarriage.com

Family: A Proclamation to the World

Ballotpedia.org

NPR News Story

Interview with LDS Apostle Dallin H. Oaks

Two Reasons to Vote- PoachedFrog

a toast is in order

To more fully understand the type of relationship my brother Darren and I have I wish to share a few of his own words, as written while I was away on my mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is a blog post of his titled "Devon."

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Devon makes me smile.

He is four years younger than me but we once convinced our stylists at a barbershop that we were twins. Same last name similar first names, same height, similar eyes, they bought it.

I love him like nothing else in this world. He…shares with me in the joy of riding bikes and simply being outside. Even if it was doing chores, if we were doing it together it was fun.

We didn't need words, Devon and I, a look and we could tell by each others eyes what we were about to do, how we would do it, and who we would do it to. The random clever remark and frequent Douglas Adams quotes were bonuses.

We are very different people, he and I. I call him my evil twin…because where I am outgoing and an aspiring leader he is fairly reserved, where I am always distracted by something new to do or learn, he patiently masters complex skills. But this is what makes him perfect, he balances me out and makes me smile.

This week is the half way point Devon has been gone one year, one more year until he comes home.

One more year until I am whole again.

I love my brother Darren! A lot has happened since Darren wrote this, he has grown, I have grown, and we have both change, as well as many other parts of our lives. Change is a certainty of life.

I have been a catalyst, a temporary fill in until he found that perfect someone, that girl that might 'balance him out and make him smile.' He has finally found that someone. Ryann is that someone. And they sure do a good job at balancing each other out; Darren is tall, Ryann is short. Darren manages with little sleep and copes with early morning activities, Ryann could easily sleep through lunch if she got the chance. Ryann is meticulous and selective, Darren can often care less. But there is much more than that to their relationship. I have spent much time with the two of them as they would do things together, and often told of other times when I wasn't there. Darren and Ryann have fun together, they create together and have from the beginning cared for each other. What ever they do, when they do it together they fluently submerse themselves in a sea of buoyancy and cheer.

Ryann completes Darren in a perfect way; in a way that I never could. I joyously welcome her as my newest sister-in-law. I willingly, and lovingly, relinquish my standing in Darren’s life to Ryann, the love of his life, his better half, my friend. I may remain his evil twin but she is his saving angel.

Ryann and Darren- Fight change. If you must change, change together. Laugh together, Love each other, and Share that love with others.

not so fast...

I went camping with most of my brothers the other day and I came to a more astute understanding of my youngest brother. I imagine that he has it toughest among all of my brothers and me. I used to think he had it easy but recent insights have dispelled such notions. He is a good kid, not the fastest or most obedient but I love him. He doddles and takes forever to do tasks assigned him much of the time but I suppose that is typical of a little boy his age; I am sure that is what I was doing at his age; but with a more stern consequence.

My dad (our dad) has mellowed out over the years and despite what Justin might think he gets away with much more that what I, or any of the rest of our brothers, may have. Thus it is easy to presume that he’s got it easy. What I realized on our camping trip is that though Justin may only have one father, and though Father lets him get off easy (relatively), the rest of us certainly don’t cut him any slack or let him get away with anything. I imagine it is like having six dads. That, I imagine is worse than Father being as tough on him as he has been on the rest of us.

When we got to camp there were orders being shouted left and right and many of them at Justin who had already found a stick and was doing what little boys do best- playing with sticks, throwing rocks in the water and kicking around in the dirt. As I lay on the picnic table with a headache listening to this barrage of orders I felt a small sense of what Justin may feel every day. I have since resolved to work harder at not ordering him around. I try not to demand or order people around but, as I am my fathers son, I do sometimes revert to snappy demands.

What is worse than being raised but a tyrannical father? Being raised by 6 brothers whose lives have been molded but a tyrannical father. Good luck Justin.

around the house

It is not that I haven't had anything exciting or interesting to talk about, it is just that I haven't seemed to have the will to write them down or post them. I have actually had several observations that I have wanted to record and even post but never got around to getting them from my head into words. I have been a little busier lately with moving, summer adventures, my brothers wedding, and many other projects that I have been tasked to. Living at home for a season seems to do that- especially for me. My dad work hard and enjoys working his sons (and daughter) hard; there are always projects to be done, if not for others than around our house or at my grandfathers medical building. As we have all grown older the projects have not ceased but my father has become a little less inclined to do them. They are still there and needing completing so someone has to step in and take point. Somewhere in time that someone became me. How or when it happened I am uncertain; what I do know is that my dad, who once motivated my brothers and me with a look, an assertive voice, and the occasional stick, now requires and takes to my gentle motivation. So many projects- so few hours in the day!

With that said I wonder if it is possible or just contradictory to say that I want to write or have a desire to write down certain thoughts but don't have the will to? I would promulgate that my wanting to write comes from a yearning or craving, involving a passion for both recording and sharing; my lack of will stems from a laziness or a carnal disposition to not think but, simply react. Unfortunately for me (and all you who read my blog) will has more to do with character than does wanting or desire. Peculiar! This argument, or at least a form of it, has actually prodded my mind for a little while now. The underlying argument is that of desire to be righteous vs. actual action. We are judged according to thought and action but how so? Alma 41:6 says, "If he hath repented of his sins, and desired righteousness until the end of his days, even so he shall be rewarded unto righteousness." If I act righteously but occasionally think something I ought not what happens then? Or what if I desire to do right but occasionally act contrary to that thought? Is it in vain? I have more thought on this mater but I will not continue farther as of yet. I invite you ponder on this that each one may form his and her own thoughts on this.

superheroes

Kids rarely know what is good for them. Personally as a kid I wasn’t too bad (I think so anyway, hopefully my parents feel the same way.) I took my baths, I ate my veggies, I went to bed; I wasn’t the best at school work. Anyway, that’s not the point, what I had the most trouble with, along with most of my brothers, was Dad. My dad was a big-bearded, scary-looking, redheaded, work enforcing, terrifier of youth. I was certainly scared of him. I recall thinking of him at times as a slave driver, and guess who the slave was. Oh yeah. Not fun. I was mowing lawns before I was as tall as the lawn mower. Weeding flowerbeds, painting fences, clearing debris, hauling firewood, you name it, never was there nothing to do. My brothers and I were not interested. We felt we had better things to do; climbing trees, watching TV, video and computer games, reading books, playing with friends, whatever little boys like to do.

Fortunately I grew up. I realized my dad was not what I imagined him to be. I realized that I had no idea what was good for me. I know now that my dad knew what he was doing and I am extremely thankful for him. He has become my example, my idol. He is my everyday superhero. I have not read of any superhero that can match my dad in ability, achievement, knowledge, bravery, fortitude, valor, or genuine greatness. My dad tops them all. Though my childhood may have not been full of fun and games it was full of learning and experience. As an adult I understand and cherish my dads foresight in limiting what I thought then was good for me. Elbert Hubbard is accredited with saying, “Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves.” I am forever thankful to my dad for not doing too much for me as I see my peers who were not fortunate enough to have a superhero dad. Dads truly are real life superheroes. To the child’s eye they seem indestructible. They know everything, and seem at times to be capable of anything. It is unfortunate that some kids grow into a clouded perception of his or her father. I love my superhero dad and am glad I am one of the lucky few to consider him my father. May each of us remember our dads as the superheroes we once held them to be. Happy Father’s Day Pops!

mothers

Mother's Day was the other day and I got so busy with preparing my talk that I forgot to write my thoughts on mothers. My mother is a very special mom. She is amazing. I love my mother and I am glad that she know that. Without mothers I firmly believe that the world would fall apart, reverting to chaos and disaster. "Family: A Proclamation to the World" says that the disintegration of the family (of which mothers are a key part) will bring upon communities, nations and countries grave calamities. Without mothers society would be a chaotic nightmare. With this thought in mind this past week, thinking that without mothers nations would fall, I read a familiar church hymn and realized that though it is not about mothers its words speak of mothers and what they do.

They the builders of the Nation blazing trails along the way;
Stepping stones for generations were there deeds of every day.
Building new and firm foundations, pushing on the wild frontier,
forging onward ever onward

Service ever was their watch-cry love became their guiding star;
Courage their unfailing beacon, radiating near and far.
Every day some burden lifted, every day some heart to cheer,
Every day some hope the brighter

As an ensign to the nation they unfurled the flag of truth,
Pillar, guide, and inspiration to the hosts of waiting youth.
Honor, praise, and veneration to the founders we revere!
List our song of adoration Blessed, Honored Mother Dear!

I am certainly grateful for mothers. I am especially grateful for my mother. She has taught me so much and continues to teach by her loving example.

what's in a name

“Family is the most important thing to protect.” I was watching an episode of the old TV show The Pretender recently and this quote popped up. Brigham Young once said that whatever is true is part of our religion. It is wonderful to me how you can find truth everywhere, even on TV. I think that family is one of the most important things to protect. I think that along with that is good name. One thing that a family gives you is a name and that, to me, is something worth protecting, honoring, living up to. I am proud to say that I am a Pinnegar, and hope that I will continue to be all my life. I think it is a name worth having but know that it takes a lot to be Pinnegar. Not everyone can pull it off, in fact not too many people at all can. Maybe that is the trouble in dating and relationships; it is a matter of finding some girl who can manage to pull it off. It is not something that someone just naturally comes by, very few people (percentage wise) are born with it. I got lucky. Back to the name though, I had the thought a while ago about the Pinnegar name. I thought “what does it mean to be a Pinnegar?” The thought was inspired by boss-man saying something on the lines of “that’s a Pinnegar for ya” or “that is such a Pinnegar thing to do.” I won't bore you with that list her but think about your own name and what it means to you. I am glad I am a Pinnegar and hope that I can live up to the name I have been given.