breaking the mold

It is time for some change in my life. I have been keeping this blog for 2 years now and that is a long time in computer years. Same computer, same site, same design, yadda, yadda...

I was going for consistent and it was working. but I am growing tired of consistent. I welcome change...I thrive off of change. When I was a kid I would move my furniture around in my room every now and then just for something different. It seems every time I would clean it some item would end up in a different corner or maybe the whole room would be rearranged. So I get bored easily. Is there any harm in that?

You may have noticed that I have not been as on top of my blog this year as in the previous year, and especially in the last few months. Perhaps some off that is because of boredom but much of it has been school. School has demanded a lot out of me in the last 3 or 4 months but that is drawing to a close. Yay!

To my readers: thank you for your interest in my ramblings. I appreciate you. There is change in the pipeline but I don't even know what it is. The world is changing. Circumstances are changing. I am changing. Whatever happens...keep reading; things can only get better. Some people fear change, but I say "bring it on." Change invites growth yet growth breeds change. It is a dynamic world that we live in and if we dont change to keep up what happens to us? There ARE a few things in life that should not change but as for the rest- welcome it, embrace it, cherish it.

The power comes in knowing what can change and what must remain constant.

mini vans

You remember when mini vans had only one sliding door in the back? I was climbing into the back seat of a mini van the other day on the drivers side and realized this. I wonder if they even make mini vans like that anymore. Probably not. You still have the same number of seats but with the new ones you have two more individual seats instead of a bench seat, and I am sure every parent appreciates the value and serenity of a kids in the back having his or her own seat. "This is my side," "He's touching me!" "Get off me." "OW!" Not to say that all troubles are resolved with individual seats but I can imagine they are definately reduced.

year end goals

I don't believe in New Year Resolutions. I don't have anything to resolve. I set goals, yearly goals. Goals and resolutions do not do any good though if you don't look at them from time to time. So it is the beginning of September, how are your goals coming along? I looked at the goals I wrote down in January today and I think I am going pretty well. There were a few that I did not even remember so it is good that I looked at them. Three have already been completed and the others are on there way, one needs a lot more work though.

Look at your goals, make some new ones. Goals are important so if you don't have any GET SOME. Goals keep you young.

I used to have trouble with goals, thinking they needed to be some sort of elaborate big thing. They don't. you can set big or long term goals but those need to be accompanied but smaller goals, like checkpoints. Big, longterm goals are useless with out these smaller goals. And then with smaller goals you make plans. Now you have to be careful because plans change. Don't let them change to frequently that you don't meet your goals. Adapt accordingly. If a goal is bigger than one task break it down into smaller bites.

Remember SMART goals- Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-based.

does birthday mean party?

Different people hold birthdays to different importance. Birthday is a tradition, and with all tradition it is viewed through the scope we are given it from. A birthday, when I was a kid, was another day; a day to be congratulated and honored, but in the end, just another day. So you are a year older, big deal, if not for the 364 (365) days preceding it, it is nothing. We had cake and ice cream at dinner the Sunday before or after in honor of and grandma would do something special with each grandkid. What is so special about getting older? I hear when you do get older everybody wishes he or she would stop having birthdays. Perhaps I just downplay the significance of this special day in my mind to avoid the glamour and attention of it. I am not one for spotlights.

A friend of mine gave me some perspective the other day on the subject. The kaleidoscope of tradition which was passed to her contrasted my own. She told me about how birthdays were the happy days she remembered from her childhood. Her mother had a way of making it a special day, not just a special day but the whole week was one to remember, to honor the birthday girl. It is your day, a day in honor of you. So why not celebrate? Anything less would be evasive and unpretentious.

Everybody deservers her own day. I remember saying once that the most important day of my life so far was the day I was born, and the second most important is tomorrow- the day that (God willing) keeps my life going. I try every day to celebrate my life, to be happy to be alive. I think we all should. Perhaps that is why I don’t set my birthday apart, because I celebrate my life every day. If you do it every day how is it different on that one day each year? It is an anniversary, and anniversaries are meant to be celebrated. So, is your birthday for you? or is it for those people in your life who care about you? Either way there should be a party, right?

If you were to tell a friend that your birthday was coming up I am confident he would say Happy Birthday and ask you if you were having a party. You might say a similar thing in the same situation. I was asked this question. In response I had to ask if I was the one responsible for make sure there was a party; “I don’t know, am I having a party?” Kind of rude in retrospect, but I know I can say anything to this friend. Who is supposed to throw a birthday party? Who does it serve? Is it tradition to have a birthday party? Is it a social norm?

I don’t pretend to know the answers but my view of birthdays has changed. One small chat with a friend and you never know what can happen. Birthdays are anniversaries. A special day to think about where you started, to ponder on the direction you are headed, and to celebrate your amazing life. So whether you choose to celebrate with a bunch of roudy friends at a party, or with your family around the table at dinner, or relaxing on a white beach in the brilliant sun, make sure you have a good one. I will!

unheroic

The heroic nature is dying, de-idolized, regarded mockingly. There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that says “The day will come that people will call good bad and bad good.” I think among other things this condoning of heroism is one small part of that. What is a hero? Most of the time hero is thought of as superhero. I thought the idea of Pixar’s Incredible is enlightening, the idea of suing a superhero…what a self-centered, one-track world we live in. And you know if superheroes existed today they would be sued. It is sad that there exists in this world people whose soul purpose seems to be to go around finding things to sue people for.

create

What do you create with? Everybody creates. It is an inherited trait of out heavenly, spiritual Father. To create is the essence of art, but art has a million mediums; pencil, pen, charcoal, paint, oil, watercolor, pastel, finger-paint, chalk, digital paint. And all that is but a few common paper mediums. What about food, furniture, woodwork, etch-a-sketch, words (stories and essays), architecture, landscape, and so many more.

The ability to create is something all are born with. As a little girl entangles her mothers hair in efforts to put it up in some fashion she is expressing that urge to create. As a young boy gathers all the pillows and blankets in the house stringing them here and there over the backs of chairs and couches he is expressing that urge to create. As you walk down the toy isle in your favorite store how many toys on the shelf have anything to to with creating? From the doodle-pad to the doll with the interchangeable outfits, from the tool belt to the plastic dump truck so many toys are to satisfy that urge to create. As we grow some choose to suppress this miraculous gift but still more choose to explore and develop theirs. The world would die if people did not create.

The most holy of creativity is the ability to create life. The seeming simplicity and assumed lack of talent required to do so has regretfully demeaned the value of this creative gift in the eyes of many creators. Undeniably, this is a demanding creation, so much so that the paints, the catalyst, are guarded by a simple lock requiring two (a man and a woman) to open. Each miraculous masterpiece requires a duality of artists.

So what do you create with? Creation is a necessity of life and each person has her own creative outlet.

flash of genius

Here is my synopsis- it is a true story yes, but it is not a heroic story. Who is the real villain? who is the hero? Sure he won the case to correct the record and defeat big business, but at what expense? So who is the hero? He is no hero; I would say there is none. And what kind of story is it without a hero? Is a sad story worth telling? What kind of moral should I expect my kid to take from this? It is okay to sacrifice my life, my love, if in the end I come out the winner? It is okay as long as I triumph over the corporate giant? No, when the dust settles there is no winner, just a loser and a loser with a lot of money. Perseverance is important but not at the expense of responsibility. Our hero seeks to restore, or gain integrity, the whole time eroding it from the inside. I may be wrong but I would say that he is his own villain. Obsession is detrimental. You might get what you wanted in the end but you wanted the wrong thing.

I guess in the end the movie says to me, “a lot of money and 'setting the record straight' is worth more than 12 years of your life, your loyalty to your family and the love of your wife.”

...and that is the world we live in.

wall paper

Do you tell your kids not to write on the wall? Sure you can erase it but before you do have you ever ask yourself "Why?" Who decided it was unacceptable? If wall righting was socially acceptable then I would imagine that more walls would have scribbles much higher than just 3 feet up.

"If these walls could talk," is often said with a sigh. But they could talk, if those same people would allow them to be written on. My dad has written numerous times on the hood, and other available spots, on his truck. My oldest brother is seen on occasion with on his pant leg in, seemingly upside-down, artistic patterns and notes. That truck hood talks, it tells of the hypotoneus of a roof truss or the measure of a board to be cut or the price of several bags of concrete. It even might tell of the principles behind a rocket engine. The jeans talk too. They speak of the wearer. He is a doodler. He is a creator. He gets board with the mundane. He has a knack for drawing. He is a problem solver, an innovator.

At the Googleplex, Google's Headquaters, they have whole walls of whiteboards for random doodling; drawing pictures, jotting down ideas. Why not?

Just like you can tell a lot about a person by what he wears (or what is drawn on what he wears) imagine what you could discover about a person as investigated what was doodled/scribbled/written upon the walls as you visited her in her home? Those walls certainly would have a story to tell, and if kids you might even make out their journey through the ages, a timecapsule of art and thought.

swing life away

What do you think about as you lie on your back in an open field staring up in to the deep sky, or sit atop a western cliff and watch the sun fall beyond the Pacific, or as you leisurely sway back and forth on a park swing at one o-clock in the morning? I will tell you what I think about. I'll tell you what I think about, I think about me. I think about what I have done, what I need to do, where I can do more, why I have been so blessed in my young life. I ask questions of myself. Sometimes the posts you find here are a product of those thoughts.

There was more to be said here but this is a fragile thought and was interrupted in its recording by a man who asked my assistance. And I obliged. Perhaps the thought is lost forever, never to return. Perhaps you might unknowingly read about it later in a future post. But I dare not write on in efforts to conceal this fractured thought. With some thoughts it is doable, and has been accomplished in the past...but not this one, this one is fragile. I am not sure why, but I recognize that it is.

Thoughts are seen in perspective, and perspective changes. Even with only a slight change of view the understanding of that observed thought can be spoiled, irrevocably changed. The thought might still live on but your understanding of that thought in that moment is lost. All because someone in need asked my help. It is called sacrifice; and those that don't loose much more than thought.

prophet, seer, revelator

It is not about ability it is about authority. Can you imagine for a moment a man today with the same authority as Moses or Abraham, of the Bible, to speak with God in behalf of the whole world- every person alive today? Can you imagine the huge responsibility of such an individual? I am here to tell you that there is no need to imagine for such a person exists. And thank God for it. God has seen a need for such a spokesperson, a seer, since the beginning, throughout time- but why?

Everybody has his own opinion. Everyone sees the world just a little differently. You, me, and Fred could all witness the exact same event any each of us would have our own views and interpretation of it. First of all we each will witness a different perspective and secondly we each draw on our own past experience in processing it. Consequently we see the event differently. In literature we might read the same passage and each come to a different conclusion of the authors intent. This is true for literary novels, science journals, play scripts, and the Bible. We see it amongst the plethora of of Churches and denominations of Christianity today.

So a spokesman could be the moderator. If he speaks with God he knows what the Authors intent is. He knows what the correct interpretation is. I know that such a man exists today. He will be speaking to the world tomorrow in a world wide conference to all of heavenly Father's children, you and me. All those willing to listen. What a great blessing and privilege to hear the voice of prophets and apostles, to learn from their mouths the truths of eterninty. The truths of Jesus Christ's gospel. The truths of Salvation.

I love my God and thank him every day for his love of me.

I invite you to join me. See what he has to say. You can believe me or not but I know and I know that if you listen and ask Him who knows all things you can know too.

Listen to the prophets voice.

traffic patterns

I wonder if in Europe people walk around in the malls the opposite direction?

It occurs to me that in malls foot traffic seems to flow in the same manner as vehicle traffic. It is not a strict pattern but for the most part what ever mall I seem to step in to, opposite direction traffic is on the left and the stores closest to the right- a counter-clockwise direction of travel. So if other countries people drive on the opposite side of the road than we do here in seemingly backward land of America than which way do the great people of those lands wander around in their malls? I would find it peculiar if the majority wandered in a counter-clockwise manner. People naturally fall into patterns they are familiar with. Here in the states people are comfortable with generally counter-clockwise movement. Other countries are not as familiar with this motion so I would expect the majority of citizens to wander their malls in a generally clockwise direction.

santa claus; a good cause

Santa's on his way. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I lived in the Bible Belt for two years and I am once again living in that region of this beautiful country. There are some wonderful people there and many people of amazing faith. There are also a few odd ones in the bunch. I met the preacher of a church in Martin, TN who published a tract (pamphlet) called "Santa Claus and Satan's Cause." He says that Christians should not believe in, or teach their children to believe in, Santa because doing so robs Christ of his glory.

I believe Santa Claus does not "rob" or detract anything from my Savior but in fact typifies and glorifies him. Santa is a symbol that help us to remember Jesus Christ.

Christianity is all about symbolism and imagery. Why should Santa be any different? The image of Santa Claus reminds me of Christ. He is jolly. He loves children. He gives us gifts. He brings hope and cheer to those who believe. I do not worship the cherry-cheeked, white-bearded Santa; he is merely a spiritual catalyst to my sensual mind. The scriptures teach that "every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God." The figure and idea of Father Christmas draws me closer to my Savior and helps me to remember the many gifts I have been given and the importance of loving and giving to others.

I know that the Son of God was not born on December 25th but that does not stop me from remembering, and being thankful for, and celebrating his birth. My mother was not born on the 3rd Sunday in May; nor did she become a mother on that day, but that does not prevent me from celebrating her motherhood and honoring her for it on that special day. Hear in the Northern hemisphere this is a time of hope as the sun reaches its lowest latitude and starts its accent into the brilliant sky. It is a time of hope and that to me is a good enough time to share the message of the Hope of Christ than any.

God be thanked for the marvelous gift of his Son, Jesus Christ and God be thanked for Christmas; a time to share His message of hope with others.

May you have a wonderful, Merry Christmas and may it bring you too closer to your Savior and mine.

2:00 a.m.

Seriously, what better thing to do at 2 or 3 in the morning than to drive around town and hang out with your two older brothers? Some might say Sleep, but that is arguable. I was finishing up some studying and a little reading earlier this evening when my brother who lives next door shoots me a message, "hey, you up?" in Google Talk. Of course, so he and I chatyed for a bit. We were having such a good conversation and I haven't spent much time with him lately, and we have until 8:00a.m. to do anything before he leaves and then I leave not seeing each other until Christmas and it was just his birthday, I ask him if he wants to do breakfast. Great idea! Let's see if Dars is up for it. "Yep he's in."

Three Pinnegar's, two-o-clock in the morning, a car, a Nerf gun, and endless possibilities. Yep, it was that good! So it turns out that at 2am your possibilities are not so endless as far as dining establishments go. We went to Denny's; we made the best of it though trying there selection of mixed drinks, munching on some seasoned fries, saying/doing what ever came to mind, which (if you know a Pinnegar) is quite a lot for that hour. After we were done at the restaurant (in other words, after our waitress was done with us at the restaurant) we had an exciting trip back to Darren's where we played a thrilling game of Pass the Pigs. It was great. I haven't played pass the pigs since before Darren went on his mission. That may or may not be true but it has been a long time. Pass the Pigs is one of the greatest games. And it is even better at 3 in the morning. It was definately a worthwhile activity and I don't think a single one of us did anything illegal...except for that part when one of us was hanging out the window trying to retreive a Nerf dart.

Happy Birthday David, I hope you had a great day.

why fly? why the army?

September brings new adventures and possibilities to my life. I now have two weeks remaining before I swear in as an active member of the United States Army. It has been a long and at times challenging road to get to this point, but I am here and am excited to begin this new adventure. Part of my application process for the army's flight program required I write a short essay on why I want to be an Army Aviator. This is that essay:

"Why I want to be an Army Aviator.

"Helicopters and the freedom of flying has been a passion of mine since I was a young boy. I have always looked upon the helicopter as the most boundless, controllable form of flight. As I have grown and matured I have become more acquainted with this type of aircraft and the dedication and responsibilities associated with becoming a pilot. My desire to become an aviator for the United States Army is threefold. It stems from a passion for the craft, the opportunity to serve, and from the thrill of adventure.

"Passion for the craft- Since I can remember I have always admired and sought to learn about helicopters and the gift of flight they offer. I have recently more earnestly desired a career as a helicopter pilot and have started taking flight school to become an aviator. The base of my desire to become and aviator for the army comes from my intense desire to understand and master the control of this fascinating piece of machinery.

"Opportunity to Serve- I pride myself in coming from a family in which service is an honored tradition. My parents have taught me by word and example the value of hard work and service to others. I have not always been interested in joining the United States Armed Services but as I have investigated my career options and contemplated the possibilities I have found that the best option for me is to become a proud soldier of the United States Army. I love serving others and the U.S. Army is a wonderful way to serve the country which has blessed me with my personal freedom, and to serve those who stand in need or who perhaps do not yet enjoy the freedoms you and I do.

"Thrill of Adventure-I love adventure and doing new things. Adventure to me is something new, something bold. It fortifies courage and provokes thought. Adventure motivates me and recharges enthusiasm. I believe that becoming an aviator for the army will satisfy and support this craving with new perspectives, new sights, new comrades, and new challenges.

"I appreciate challenges, both large and small. I enjoy the satisfaction that comes from working through and solving challenges. I know that becoming an aviator for the Army will bring many new challenges into my life, however I am confident that these challenges will strengthen me and my abilities will strengthen those whom I serve."

warning: do not read this

There is an interesting anomaly that occurs in human nature- generally, humans are inherently stupid, and curious. This is a more complex problem than I have given it credit in the past.

There is a hole in my bathroom floor at the moment. I am working at replacing the drain in the shower and finishing remodeling it. Because of my brothers wedding recently and having guests coming over I felt it a good idea to straighten up the area and clean the floor to get it looking presentable to guests and a friend who would be camping out on our couch for the weekend. As part of my tidying up I advanced the project to a good stopping point, got rid of the mound of dirt that I removed from the floor and then placed a large sheet of butcher paper over the hole to make the room look nice. Now for the human element; I had a choice to make, I could either leave the sheet blank hoping that no one would step on it and fall through, or I could write a cautionary note advising not to step on it. I decided to write the note. “No Step” and “Hazard: Do not step on brown paper.” Simple enough, however with signs and advisories comes curiosity, it seems to be a natural consequence. Signs invite curiosity. “Hey look, a sign- It says stay out, I wonder why? Let’s go find out!” Why do we do that? We are all guilty of it. If you are reading this right now you are guilty of it. ‘Why should I not read it? Is there something I shouldn’t know? What is it?’

So either way you are going to have someone end up in the hole. No advisory and someone might end up falling in on accident; put up an advisory and everyone gets courious as to why to avoid it and end up in the hole. So is it actually better to leave the paper blank? to not place a warning? You might argue that there is less of a chance of someone falling in by accident than from curiousity but experiance shows that not matter what you do you lose. I am not exactly sure how that happens but somehow, even with a clear warning, you are to blame.

time and money

Time and money are the two things that everyone wishes he and she had more of. It is striking to me the relation between the two and at the same time a stark contrast. Everyone is given the same amount of time in a day and days in a week. Time however is not equal to all. Some have less and some have more- only in the sense that time is lived and we each have more or less to live. Some live to their 100s while others die in youth or young adult life. Each person has only a given amount of time. Money however is seemingly endless, if you can find means there is no end to the money you may accumulate. Time is frequently exchanged for money. Time is a commodity. Just as we may exchange good for good, or money for something of necessity, time is exchanged for money. Time can be wasted as well as money and any other physical possession. Both time and money can be spent on things of little or no value.

So what is my point or the point of these ramblings? I don’t have a point to this, my friend and I were just discussing the topic earlier and I found it intriguing and thought to post it and invite others to contemplate such impractical notions. What if our money were like our time in that we had no idea how much we had left, would we spend it less cavalierly? Do we sometimes live out the time of our lives cavalierly? If money were finite and we only had so much how differently would we think?

hugs

Hugs are great, in fact I wish I had one right now. When life goes sour and the building blocks of life get kicked out from under you a hug lets you know that there is someone there who cares about you and what happens to you. Hugs can be for so many things and they mean different things from different people. They can be for happiness or excitement, for friendship or for appreciation. They can be for encouragement, for sincerity, for pleasure, for affection, or for understanding. Most importantly however, they are for comfort. Hugs provide comfort. The problem with hugs is that they are not given (or appreciated) very well from far away. That is part of what makes them what they are, that they are personal and embracing. Some people don't like hugs- I think they need to live a little. Hugs are two sided, there is a receiving end, which is a great end to be on but there is also the giving end. Hugs are gifts. They are an act of service and kindness. You can't very well have a hug if no one is willing to offer one. The interesting thing is once a hug is offered and excepted than both the giver and the receiver become receiver and both are embraced. In giving we receive! I am going to go find someone to hug. I encourage you to do the same; find someone one who needs a hug and give him or her your all.

life and technology

What is the life span of a laptop? My laptop is now 2 years old, it had its birthday this earlier this month and it is showing its age. They talk about dog-years and human-years but what about computer years? If I were a computer I’d be dead now! Or sitting in some antique shop or Smithsonian. I think that as far as laptops go two years is getting up there in age; desktops seem to have a little longer life expectance but maybe because they are more easily adaptable. Perhaps it is similar to the difference in life expectance between guys and gals. Anyway, the life of a computer is not so much based on how long it will last but the technology it contains (with the exception perhaps of PC’s blue screen of death). That computer from 1989 that my dad has sitting in the corner gathering dust will still turn on and play that DOS based, 5 ¼ floppy of Super Solvers but that is all it will do. Remember the days before there were mice (mouse’s)? The days of Oregon Trail in the school computer lap on brand new Apples. Weren’t those the days! There are flash drives now with more memory than the memory of that entire computer. My laptop is what is know as a “convertible,” it’s screen can fold over and I can use it as either a regular laptop or as a tablet. I am surprised that I do not see more of them than what I do around today. I think MAC has successfully taken much of their market. So, my computer is old but is still very much alive and kicking. I have had to replace the hard drive and I have dinged it up a little but it gets the job done.

point of view

Every story has two sides. That is the trouble with life. That is the one thing that causes the most problems. I think I said once that it was humanities forgetful nature but I think that the inability/ unwillingness to understand is greater. If each person could simply understand where the other person is ‘coming from’ and respect that then life would be much more passive. Today there was an event at my work that I was not a witness to but was given the details of by my coworkers who played a role in it and then, later this evening I was given the opposing sides story as related by the sister-in-law of the costumer involved. Both sides I am sure have truth to them but I also understand that I was told the one side by a direct contributor and the other by a third party, merely a relay of one sided information. Both sides are naturally bias so where is the truth and how is it uncovered? It is just a curious thing that the same thing, whatever it may be, can be seen so differently by different people just standing at different angles to the object. Point of view is what people are made of. We all come from different circumstances and thus perceive things differently. And it is amazing to me how different the views are sometimes.

training

I started Helicopter School this week and it has been great. I have been here in UT now for about a month and a half and I am finally starting what I have come out here to do. I now go to the airport every weekday. I have 2 to 2 1/2 hours of one on one instruction from Vincent Baker, my instructor, and then he and I go fly an R22 Robertson helicopter for about an hour. It is wonderful. I am having a blast. I think my favorite part of flying thus far is air-taxiing. It is a blast. I love zipping around 5-20 feet off the ground. Flying at high altitudes is fun too but it isn’t quite as exciting as zipping around the airport or somewhere else. So far I have learned straight and level flight; turning, accelerating, and decelerating while maintaining steady altitude; climbs and descents, and hovering. Hovering is fun too, but is takes a little work to do well. I have not yet perfected it, I have only done it twice, but I am not too bad at it- especially for only doing it twice.

There is a lot to know about helicopters and a whole lot more than what I originally thought goes into flying- that goes for both rotary and fixed wing flying. It is amazing what all effects flight.

All in all, school is great, it is a lot of learning but that is what makes it so exciting. I love learning. If only I loved learning as much in high school as I do know, I would probably be a whole lot smarter.