not so fast...

I went camping with most of my brothers the other day and I came to a more astute understanding of my youngest brother. I imagine that he has it toughest among all of my brothers and me. I used to think he had it easy but recent insights have dispelled such notions. He is a good kid, not the fastest or most obedient but I love him. He doddles and takes forever to do tasks assigned him much of the time but I suppose that is typical of a little boy his age; I am sure that is what I was doing at his age; but with a more stern consequence.

My dad (our dad) has mellowed out over the years and despite what Justin might think he gets away with much more that what I, or any of the rest of our brothers, may have. Thus it is easy to presume that he’s got it easy. What I realized on our camping trip is that though Justin may only have one father, and though Father lets him get off easy (relatively), the rest of us certainly don’t cut him any slack or let him get away with anything. I imagine it is like having six dads. That, I imagine is worse than Father being as tough on him as he has been on the rest of us.

When we got to camp there were orders being shouted left and right and many of them at Justin who had already found a stick and was doing what little boys do best- playing with sticks, throwing rocks in the water and kicking around in the dirt. As I lay on the picnic table with a headache listening to this barrage of orders I felt a small sense of what Justin may feel every day. I have since resolved to work harder at not ordering him around. I try not to demand or order people around but, as I am my fathers son, I do sometimes revert to snappy demands.

What is worse than being raised but a tyrannical father? Being raised by 6 brothers whose lives have been molded but a tyrannical father. Good luck Justin.

around the house

It is not that I haven't had anything exciting or interesting to talk about, it is just that I haven't seemed to have the will to write them down or post them. I have actually had several observations that I have wanted to record and even post but never got around to getting them from my head into words. I have been a little busier lately with moving, summer adventures, my brothers wedding, and many other projects that I have been tasked to. Living at home for a season seems to do that- especially for me. My dad work hard and enjoys working his sons (and daughter) hard; there are always projects to be done, if not for others than around our house or at my grandfathers medical building. As we have all grown older the projects have not ceased but my father has become a little less inclined to do them. They are still there and needing completing so someone has to step in and take point. Somewhere in time that someone became me. How or when it happened I am uncertain; what I do know is that my dad, who once motivated my brothers and me with a look, an assertive voice, and the occasional stick, now requires and takes to my gentle motivation. So many projects- so few hours in the day!

With that said I wonder if it is possible or just contradictory to say that I want to write or have a desire to write down certain thoughts but don't have the will to? I would promulgate that my wanting to write comes from a yearning or craving, involving a passion for both recording and sharing; my lack of will stems from a laziness or a carnal disposition to not think but, simply react. Unfortunately for me (and all you who read my blog) will has more to do with character than does wanting or desire. Peculiar! This argument, or at least a form of it, has actually prodded my mind for a little while now. The underlying argument is that of desire to be righteous vs. actual action. We are judged according to thought and action but how so? Alma 41:6 says, "If he hath repented of his sins, and desired righteousness until the end of his days, even so he shall be rewarded unto righteousness." If I act righteously but occasionally think something I ought not what happens then? Or what if I desire to do right but occasionally act contrary to that thought? Is it in vain? I have more thought on this mater but I will not continue farther as of yet. I invite you ponder on this that each one may form his and her own thoughts on this.